Brande Looks Back: Kilimanjaro Day 5 (Summit Day – Emotions)

January 21, 2016January 25, 2016 / runningforthegate / 6 Comments

Uruhu Peak, the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro

Here we go, Kilimanjaro summit, day 5 of the hike …

(If you missed it – here is my look back on Kilimanjaro Day 4)

I figure I need at least a few posts and maybe a book to tell you about the day we went up and down the summit of the amazing Mount Kilimanjaro. Lets start with this post at least and see where it takes us.

Funny or sad or surreal or crazy enough, when I think of standing on top of Mount Kilimanjaro I get emotional and am now writing this very sentence through salty tears in my eyes and on my cheeks. I want to try and tell you why that is, if I can even put to words the emotion of such a moment. I can’t even call it a moment as the experience was more than even moments; it was the accumulation of emotional, physical and really quite spiritual challenges and ah-ha experiences that in the end become your “Kilimanjaro memory’ if you will.

So really, stay with me, as I try to explain how it felt, how I actually think it has changed me, and through that hope it encourages you to challenge Kilimanjaro Mountain itself or your own ‘Kilimanjaro challenge’ whatever that might be in your life. In my next Summit Day – Hiking post, I will give you more of the factual, step by step of summit day stuff and lots of pictures. I felt I had to get this emotional stuff of my chest first before I could get into hike-y stuff and wanted to paint the picture of how it felt before dazzling you with summit pictures of glaciers and volcanic craters and such…

Some of you are probably still stuck on the Brande is crying while writing – what the heck? When you hear I have tears, please don’t be sad for me! These are tears of pride, of amazement, of feeling blessed, of being awed by our amazing planet and its Creator, and of being speechlessly reminded of how much the human body and mind are actually capable of. Of course, I will be honest with you and admit they are not all happy tears some are sad but that’s ok too so please still don’t feel sad for me. Some of the salt water in these eyes as I write are in memory of the fear of heights during the climb, the dread I felt when I honestly believed the next cough would leave blood in my palm, the next puking fit would leave me too exhausted and unable to continue.

A little caveat before we start, I am hoping beyond hope that none of my fellow hikers actually knew I was feeling all this. I was trying to keep it in so they could focus on their own hikes and not me all working my crap out up and down a mountain summit. I am not sure if I was able to dupe my hubby, bestie or sister but a girl can hope.

My memory of that day has gaps for sure. But as usual, the next morning I woke (light headed and coughing) and sat in the tent scribbling down every detail I could recall… here is how I remember feeling (think roller coaster) …

I remember feeling guilt. Yup, guilt. The guilt I have for making my wonderful husband stand by and watch his wife suffer though nothing shy of a wee dose of pulmonary edema purely for the thrill of knocking something of MY “must do” list in life, not his or ours – but my list. I think it is nothing shy of total and complete love that he, with full support and love, saw me through it, and even climbed it with me. You have probably read before that my husband hates hiking. Well his love is more for me than his hate is for hiking, so he does strap on his hiking boots once in a while just me and that includes to hike Kilimanjaro. I feel looking back I was very selfish asking him to hike for 7 days straight because I wanted to and then topped that off with me getting sick on the summit and scaring the crap out of him in thanks. So lets admit here, I know some of my emotion is caused by this overwhelming display of his love for me and just how far and high, literally, he is willing to go to demonstrate it. Wow! Right? So not just guilt, but also fall-in-love love all over again too.

Any who – carrying on.

I remember feeling stupid, yes you read that right – stupid. When we started out at 5am in the morning. I had all the right gear, the right training, my body felt mostly right that morning but yet I had a voice in my head that said ‘who do you think you are stupid girl, you were the chubby kid in school, the every diet out there I tried it gal, the just shy of being really good at sports but never amazing girl, the etc etc etc (insert all kinds of nasty self talk here). Stupid! I felt stupid cause of my self talk and I felt even more stupid for letting this self talk even enter my mountain-climbing, kick-ass mind.

I remember, on the very opposite spectrum, some very awesome self talk. Giving myself a mental high five for training so hard and feeling so good in my muscles and joints as a result. There was some definite you are bad-ass and hear me roar self talk moments happening!

I remember feeling thankful. Thanking myself for all the hours and hours of research I did so there were no surprises along that way that can trip up my brain into an anxiety / obsessive worrying. Thanking God for my body and the opportunity to be able to experience something so amazing on this globe of ours. Thanking all the family, friends, and support I have who were so excited for me to do this and so willing to jump in and make sure it was possible to get here and get up the mountain.

I remember looking around at my fellow climbers and feeling so blessed to have such amazing friends and family. I was on a mountain with my wonderful husband, with my so tough and so funny sister and her awesome husband, my hilarious and inspiring best friend, and the two closest friends my husband and I could ask for in the Carmen brothers. How did the universe align for such a rock star group of loving, darn funny and supportive people to come together? To accomplish this feat together? For all of us to be successful together? I will never know but it was a great reminder of the power of the universe (not to sound cheesy).

I remember feeling lonely. I had to leave behind the group on our descent as I was told to link arms and scree ski down with our Assistant Guide Felix and get down to a lower altitude where my breathing would get easier. I remember feeling lonely that my husband was not with me and yet rather glad he would not be next to me to see how much I was suffering, to hear that popcorn crackle in my lungs, or to see the liquid coming with each coughing fit. If I saw concern in his eyes for me it would be my undoing I think. I was channeling all of my ‘you are strong’ woman feelings I could. So best we could not make eye contact really.

I remember being frustrated. Getting back to the tents and being so glad that they came so quickly upon on us and yet so mad that they seemed to take forever to materialize. I was walking with my husband again shortly after scree skiing and glad for it. I have gaps in my memory here but know he was always asking how I was and was not impressed when I went to my knees in a coughing fit or puking fit. For both of us, for different reasons, we wanted to turn the next corner and see our tents.

I remember being scared. I think my hubby knew I was struggling with breathing already but really getting back into our tent tent was when quiet the crackly/pop of my lungs hit home for us (BUT I was still breathing and exhausted smiling to have made it).

I remember being happy. When we arrived back at the tents my oxygen saturation was 60% and heart rate low (not a great combo) when we first got to the tent but I recovered to 62% with some focused breathing in just minutes. So I figured it would climb right up in 2% increments with more good breathing and I would be golden in no time. Yahoo I am breathing better already and I climbed a mountain!

I remember feeling ashamed. The moment when I saw the not impressed, incredulous, what-the-hell-are-we-even-climbing-a-mountain-for look on the husband’s face made me feel bad for my selfish bucket list. I knew he was worried for how I was feeling and more than anything my response to how I was feeling. But I actually think this helped me. I went into focus on getting oxygen in, getting the vision back to clear and without little fire fly bugs, and get the fear / mad out of my husbands eyes. Not to sound like a generalist, but I think the fear / mad thing is a total guy thing – they are scared for you but mad at whatever made you sick or hurt in the first place.

I remember feeling so taken care of. Shortly after the not impressed-husband look he was lovingly (and romantically in my opinion) unlacing and pulling off my dusty boots for me as I laid on my sleeping bag focusing on not passing out. Then shortly after, that amazing sister I mentioned early, who is also Asthmatic sadly but bless her cotton socks for it, came by with her inhaler thingies for me and I was soon feeling better and better as the night progressed. Moments again after that my husband was teaching me how to use an inhaler for the first time between coughing fits. Finally, him him chuckling at me as I wrapped myself in an emergency blanket like a baked potato and fell back to sleep like a rock.

I told you … roller coaster!

Oh Kilimanjaro, I may not have left any toenails on your mountain side .. but I sure did leave a blazing trail of emotions up and down your summit!

Next post I will honour the beauty of the mountain with pics of the summit day and a hiking account. They will be so much more meaningful now that you have the emotional foundation to lend some passion to the images.

Brande

Brande Looks Back: Kilimanjaro Day 1

November 19, 2015March 12, 2018 / runningforthegate / 3 Comments

Lana and Brande’s Asolo boots are gonna rock this trek!

I am so excited that we made the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro; all 7 of our mighty mountain gang!

Now that we are back down the Mountain and back home in Canada and there is consistent, lovely, previously taken for granted wireless connection – I am just so excited to share the details of our day by day, mind over matter, adventure up and down the awe inspiring Kilimanjaro Mountain.

Mr. and Mrs Davison started out on our Mount Kilimanjaro, Rongai Route Honeymoon!

So here we go, looking back on Mount Kilimanjaro Day 1…

Date: Sept 30 2015 Wednesday
Destination: Rongai Gate to Simba Camp
Duration: 4hours walking
Distance: 7km
Elevation Gained: 638m (2,093ft)
FitBit Steps: 21,249
FitBit Calories Burnt: 3,445

At 8am our Team Kilimanjaro climbing crew showed up at the Outpost Lodge and dolled out any rental items we had arranged (hiking poles, waterproof trousers and jackets, sleeping bags, summit jacket). These were quickly added to our day packs or our duffel bags accordingly and all bags tossed up and tied down on a rack on top of our bus. Along with a whole host of other gear the crew would be carrying up the mountain to support us. We piled onto the bus ourselves – freshly showered for the last time for the next 7 days and met some of the rest of our climbing crew. Most were really friendly and all were sizing us up to see which of us had the gumption to tackle this mountain.

The bus ride left much to be desired – I think everyone but us 7 had wretched body odour (maybe it helps with altitude sickness?), we were piled tightly into too few and too small of seats and were surrounded by all kinds of gear. The luggage rack inside the bus was full of bread for our breakfasts for the next 7 days .. not that I am complaining about bread. Just an observation. ha ha

On our trip to the Rongai Gate where we would begin our 7 day adventure our bus made a few stops. Well one was merely slowing down not actually stopping for a guy on the side of the highway to toss in a pair of waterproof pants that Scott had rented but they forgot to bring to the Lodge when they picked us up originally. One was to drop off the crew to pick up their altitude medication – which oddly smelt like skunk and gave them the munchies!? Another stop was to pay our park fees and register at the main Machame Gate, and another was to get food supplies where we also go the chance to pick up some last minute items and hit our last flush toilet!

Finally after almost 4 hours on the Stinky Sweaty Bus Tour we arrived at the Rongai Gate. This was my first experience of the nausea the mountain boasts at higher altitudes – well ok this was not altitude nausea, this was plain ole car sickness but in a big style way. What a way to start my trek – and the first thing we did was eat lunch. Oh my! Some early altitude nausea training for me.

Kilimanjaro Notice to All Esteemed Visitors

Notice to All Kilimanjaro Climbers. Not sure what scared me more – the grammar or some of the dire warnings.

About an hour after arriving at the Rongai Gate, everyone had hit the washroom, had eaten their lunch (yummy soup and tomato sandwiches), had their gear weighed in and confirmed our 30+ crew were not carrying more than the Kilimanjaro Park Association will allow each to carry, and each of us hikers did a pre-climb weigh in, we were off on our way!

I can be honest and tell you there were some nerves when starting out. I had a moment of ‘holy crap, once I start there is no getting out of this except on my own two feet‘ and then I had a moment of ‘squeee how exciting is this, I have had this on my to-do list for ages and its here, really here and I have my husband, family and friends with me on this journey‘ and then I had ‘ok get on with it and start walking girl‘. Not sure if that was in my head or maybe said by one of my fellow trekkers or maybe our Guide Leo.

Our first steps on the trail, Day 1 Rongai Route, just us climbers and 30+ crew members carrying their gear and ours.

The first few kilometers of the trek were on a very dusty path through a planted forest with some small villages and homes were locals were trying their best to make a living on what looked like tough land to make anything grow from. The path was dusty enough to warrant pulling my Buff up and over my mouth and nose to avoid ‘eating’ the sandy red dust. In additional to kicking up dust ourselves, even more was created by the Porters trucking past us with backpacks and all our gear on their heads making it look easy! As a climber we are only carrying our day packs with 3 liters of water, rain gear, a few snacks and whatever else we can get in under 20lbs each. Our porters on the other hand are carrying everything else – from my face cream and baby wipes (aka mountain shower) to all of the food we will be eating and the camp chairs we will be in to eat that food.

We stopped a few kilometers in at some picnic benches for a short break. Already our Guide Leo started to remind us to drink water (They say drinking 3+ liters of water a day can help combat altitude sickness. This was music to my ears. Finally the amount of water I drink normally was celebrated and not looked at as crazy!). We had some snacks, adjusted any gear that needed a tune up, application of MORE sunscreen, Lance and Paul took a potty break (this became an every break thing for these boys the next 7 days), Lana tightened her boots (this also became a regular occurrence for Lana at every break), and we were soon on our way again.

Just before we got back to the boots, Felix the Assistant Guide showed up and we were casually informed there was not enough porters to carry all our stuff. So he had been recruiting in the nearby villages for additional porters to join the climb. They had left behind what we did not need right away at camp for the newly recruited rookies to carry up. I guess we would not be the only ones doing this climb for the first time!

The crew starting out at the beginning of the Rongai Route through farmland and planted forests with lots of dust soon to be kicked up.

At this time the scenery started to change. We were in a real forest now (not planted after clear cutting), the farmland villages were no more, and we making a very slight slope upward. We would also randomly spot Colubus Monkeys in the trees – crazy, big, black and white monkeys. To me they looked like skunks with monkey bodies and really long hair. Odd creatures really but so cute!

This finally started to feel like a mountain. The air was so fresh, boots were feeling good (ok maybe not for Lana) and Paul (my brother in law) and Lance (my husband) had started what would become their 7 day trivia game. All things were up for grabs for the trivia game but it mostly centered on Seinfeld. Generally they would answer each other but once in a while between giggles at the two of them, one of us other climbers would jump in with the answer or add a trivia question of our own. The entertainment Paul and Lance provided the rest of us was priceless!

A bunch of Kili-meters later (see what I did there? oh hahaha sometimes I make myself laugh), we took another break for some more water (‘drink some water’ would become a request we would hear over and over again every day from our Guides – I loved it) and chewed on some more snacks.

We didn’t take long on our breaks. Our Guide Leo would keep a keen eye on us and if anyone looked like they were starting to chill, he would get us up and back to the boots again. Just after this break, our Guide Leo pointed out Kenya’s border and villages in the distance. The Rongai Route is the only Kilimanjaro route that starts from the North side of the mountain and for that reason gives you a glimpse of Kenya.

Kenya in the distance.

Just when we felt so lucky to be able to glimpse Kenya in the distance the ultimate sight came into view – we could see the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro in the distance. It looked far away and it looked like the most awesome achievement we could aim for. I cannot believe I was hiking towards it. Wow! Squeeeeee

Its only a glimpse but that there in the background is Mount Kilimanjaro (and me walking). I will be standing on the summit in just days!

We arrived about 4 hours later at our first camp, Simba Camp.

We did it, first day under our belt – all smiles as we arrive at Simba Camp!

The site of our camp was amazing! Our tents already set up, sleeping mats already inside, and our duffel bags in the front entry of our two compartment tents. Each had an enclosed front entry, and a separate enclosed bedroom. They are 3 season tents so really quite warm which became increasingly important the higher up the mountain we got. We were assigned 2 people to a tent which was perfect for us couples, worked out well for Lana who bunked with Matt for company (warmth), and for Scott who had his very own bachelor ‘apartment’.

What a sight! Our sleeping tents and the dining tent in the distance. It was so exciting to see what our little homes would look like for the week.

Not too far from our tents was the massive Dining Tent where we would spend our meals (and half of our crew slept their nights), and a little bit farther away were our toilet tents. Yup toilet tents. They were basically port-a-potty shaped tents and inside was a homemade wooden box (the commode) and underneath was a bucket – conveniently in an inside pocket of the tent was a roll of toilet paper. Cute right!? While toilet tents may be a little like princess treatment they were so appreciated and necessary!

OK, yes if were wondering, a Porter was responsible for carrying the toilet gear and setting it up at each camp, and keeping it clean by dumping the contents in the long drop out outhouse toilets. We had a Porter in our crew for each of the toilet tent (so 2 peeps) and while to us this seems like a crappy position on a crew (oh my what a pun, sorry), it is in fact a high up position and receives a higher portion of the tips than the regular non-toilet carrying Porters. I can tell you, I was absolutely grateful for these guys. I think all of us were. The medication you take called Diamox to help with acclimatizing to altitude is a diuretic – so you spend a lot of time in these tents! Not joking, 3 to 4 times a night you are up and in the potty tent.

Just minutes after being shown our tents, two of what would become some of our favourite crew members Benny and Joffre showed up with bowls of warm water for us to wash the dust of the day off with and then minutes after that some hot water and the makings for whatever hot drink you could want (coffee, milo, tea, hot chocolate of 3 different kinds, and more) and told us there was popcorn and cookies in the dining tent to enjoy. They ply you with hot drinks at every turn, and they like to feed you salty snacks too – all to encourage you to drink more water. Sneaky smart!

Well then supper was served in the dining tent and wow! I assumed the meals would be like camping meals – simple and easy to make. Well surprise surprise we were going to get better food on the Mountain than sadly I make at home for Lance and I half the time, ok more than half the time. On our very first dinner we had >>>>. Wow!

Its dinner time – wow this is better than home (I really need to stop serving Lance cereal or toast for supper)!

By 9:00pm we were all in bed and sleeping, I think from the horrid bus ride not the 7km hike, and it was starting to get a bit chilled in the air. We made our way to our tents, did a little forest side tooth brushing and crawled into our sacks. Not before we were in awe over the night sky – no light pollution here and the stars looked like they could be plucked from the sky if you could just get a wee ladder and try. Milky Way = amazing! I have never seen stars like that. (and am now craving chocolate)

There is nothing so wonderful as a day of hiking followed by sleeping in the fresh air of a tent with your husband to make you too excited at the amazing blessing you have been provided to experience such a trek to even sleep. After some excited squeaks and our usual awesome bedtime conversation, we drifted off to sleep ready to get in what we could before our 5:30am wake up for Day 2.

Brande

(If you are enjoying yourself – here is my look back on Kilimanjaro Day 2)